Ceasefire
by LilyGhost
Summary: For her own good, Ranger once again pulls away from Stephanie only to realize that's the last thing he wants to do. Told from Ranger's POV.


**This story is loosely based on the song "Did I Say That?" by Meatloaf which was suggested by ShellSueD who thought it could be turned into a Babe story. This is the one I came up with. Ranger and Steph are Janet's. The mistakes are mine alone. **

This night hasn't ended the way I'd hoped ... with Stephanie naked, spread out on my bed, between my sheets and me between her legs. Instead, we've reached another impasse. She wanted more than just sex, and I wasn't sure how to give it to her. I stupidly gave her an out rather than the commitment she was after. I wasn't positive I could make a relationship work and I didn't want to continue to hurt her even if letting her go would effectively gut me.

I _never _should have taken my mouth off her. When I do, that's when we get into trouble. She can't resist me, and I know it. Despite my assertion that we can only have random nights of hot, sweaty sex, I'm not a total bastard. I wanted her to know that I do care about her, but when I poured the wine - trying to set a mood - her doubts started flowing instead.

I should've been expecting it. Nothing good ever survives long around me. I already knew that, which is why I always push her away when I feel her becoming too important to me. And she had surpassed 'important' a long time ago.

By choice and necessity, I stayed away from my daughter. And little good that did. She had been kidnapped and almost killed just for having an association with me. If anyone figured out the depth of my feelings for Stephanie Plum, she'll become a walking target, with a laser sight tracking her every move. If I explained that to her, she'd roll her eyes and say I was exaggerating, or accuse me of just making up excuses not to be with her, but there are things she doesn't know about me, and certain jobs that could come back to haunt us both. So I backed off ... again.

"If you want me to leave you alone, Babe, say the word and I'm gone."

When I heard those words come out of my mouth, I first wanted to ask myself if I really just said that to her. My second impulse was to take them back. But I didn't take them back ... I _couldn't_. If it was better for her to have me disappear from her life, I'd do it. They say if you really love someone, you'll let them go. It must be true, because I would give up my own happiness to ensure hers. And it seems I just did.

Steph's back went rigid, then I watched her shoulders slump, as if the weight of our combined emotions had settled there. _Shit. _I always feared our relationship would come to this, but I didn't think it would be this soon or hurt this bad when it happened. I've tried over and over again to prepare myself for never seeing her again, but I've long since decided that it'd take a lot more than a stiff drink and distance to make it bearable.

I saw her lips part and I braced myself for whatever she was about to say. "What _I'd _like is for you _not_ to want to leave me alone ever again."

And she walked out of the kitchen, out of the apartment, and most likely out of my life.

Do I really want this thing between us to end? I've been telling myself it'd have to eventually. And to her it sounded like I wanted to uncomplicate both our lives, but I'm starting to believe that my 'good intentions' are just a knee-jerk reaction in order to protect myself and her.

In that moment I understood why love is compared to war. Things become real clear, real fucking fast. I only had a split second to decide whether to retreat and lose everything I've recently gained, or fight to keep it. I've always chosen to fight in the past, and I would this time, too. I don't like the feeling of being the one left behind, and I'll be damned if I let her get away with it. I exited the kitchen, snatched my keys from the dish on the sideboard in case I had to chase her down, and opened the front door.

And there Stephanie stood, looking even more beautiful than she had when I'd picked her up. She was facing my apartment with her eyes on her watch.

"_Forty-five _seconds?" She asked. "I was guessing that you'd come after me by twenty-two."

I didn't let my relief show when I realized she hadn't intended to leave tonight after all.

"If you knew I'd follow you," I said to her, "why did you go? Are you forgetting that your car isn't downstairs?"

"You know I would've gotten a ride if I needed one. As to why I didn't, you're a smart man, you should be able to figure that one out. But in case you can't, I did it so you'd see that you don't want me to go anywhere and finally do something about it."

I was reaching for her before I could stop myself. Luckily, she let me hold her.

"What do you suggest I do?" I asked her.

"Stop being a jerk or 'the better man'. You're fine the way you are ... when you aren't trying to avoid me. I like being around you, despite the fact that you're frustrating, irritating at times, and are a little slow on a few follow-throughs."

I pulled her back into my apartment - now that I was sure she'd come with me - and closed the door, pinning her to it.

"What else?" I asked, wanting to hear everything she's feeling so I could prevent future misunderstandings like the one we've had tonight.

"What else ... _what_?"

I leaned in even more, using my body to keep her from moving so she had to talk to me.

"I'd like to know what you want and don't want with me," I told her matter-of-factly.

"This doesn't have to be complicated, Ranger."

"Nothing with us is ever simple. It's better if we just spell it out now."

She sighed and I was so close to her, I felt the heat of her breath along my throat.

"Do you want to be rid of me?" She asked. "Is that why you keep trying to put space between us?"

"I brought you here hoping to have _nothing _between us, Babe, not even space. You're the one who decided to bolt."

"And why do you think that is?" She said, not in the least intimidated by my aggressive stance. "Every time we sleep together, I'm pretty much agreeing to not see you for a while."

She closed her eyes briefly before opening them to continue. It's clear that this has been on her mind a lot lately.

"Joe may think I'm not all that bright, but I've connected all the dots between you and me. And I realized sex with you costs me my best friend for sometimes weeks at a time, until one or both of us try to rebuild what a night together ruined. And while you're incredible in bed, I end up really missing the guy I argue, joke, and eat with, when we're not in one. Sex is good, but _you _are way better."

She didn't need her knee to hit a man where it hurts. If it's possible to salvage what we have, I knew I'd do it, even if I had to admit that I've made more than my share of the mistakes that led to this confrontation.

"What happens if we have sex and neither of us run after?" I asked her, bending my forehead to touch hers.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "It's never happened before."

"You interested in seeing how it plays out?"

"You're not implementing some sort of mind trick just to get me into your bed, are you? You meant that as a serious question?"

"Yes. It's not a trick of any kind. I'd rather wake up to you than a clear conscience."

"You're overreacting - and overthinking things - again," she told me. "I'm here if you want me for longer than tonight, but to use your words ... _'I'm gone_' if you don't."

"Everything I've done has been because I love you, Stephanie."

"I think _ninety_-percent of your actions are because of me. The remaining ten is to keep your life the way it is. I'm a distraction to you, you've said that a million times. "

I hadn't been prepared for how perceptive she is.

"Have you changed your mind about staying here with me?" I asked her.

"No. Not unless you regret coming after me."

"I'd walk through fire for you, so my front door is no obstacle. I'd prefer it if you never leave again. What would guarantee that?"

"_Jesus_. I'm not a mission that needs to be plotted out."

"Feels like it at times," I told her.

She pushed against my chest, but I wasn't budging ... not this time.

"Despite what your expression is saying, Babe, you really don't want me to stop talking right now."

"Fine," she replied, "but you'd better say something complimentary fast or I'm outta here."

"You can't move unless I let you," I pointed out.

"I'm here only because I _want _to be. You're tempting ... _real _tempting, but I won't trade a few hours with you for a future filled with disappointments."

"I can honestly say you've never disappointed me. Just the opposite in fact. I've never been prouder of you."

Her hands slid along the muscles of my back and stopped at my shoulders. "I figured out that in order to be the woman you love, I have to love myself enough to not settle for scraps when I want the entire meal."

A grin tugged at my lips. "You skip dinner?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with this. You get what I'm saying, right?"

"Yes. Instead of one or both of us walking away, we now have to figure out just how to stay together."

"Exactly," she said into my neck.

In the last five minutes, she's given up trying to keep her body and feelings from me, and she had relaxed into my arms. I wasn't going to fuck up this opportunity again. I kissed her while locking my arms under her ass so I could take us to the bedroom.

"You're not planning on taking advantage of me, are you?" She asked, when I set her down on my bed.

"I'm going to do more than that," I promised her. "I'm about to strip you naked, love you until you can't walk or see straight, and then you'll fall asleep in my arms. And you will stay there until we both wake up tomorrow morning."

"And _after _tomorrow?" She said, as I slipped her heels off her feet and worked my hands under her skirt and up her legs.

They parted immediately for me and my answer to her question was just as quick.

"We repeat it every night after that. If you knew what was going through my mind right now, you'd wish you would have kept walking, Babe."

"What I wish is that we'd stopped running a long time ago, but I'm ready to leave the past in the past and focus on making up for all the time we were apart."

"Is that a challenge?" I asked, running a fingertip along the seam of her panties.

"You up for it?"

Instead of wasting valuable time answering, I spent the entire night showing her.


End file.
